When my doctor told me to expect hair loss two to three weeks after my first treatment, I began to psychologically prepare myself, thinking it would make it easier when the time came. No matter how many times I told myself it wasn't going to be that bad, or that my hair was going to grow back after treatment, etc., it was still a traumatic experience.

Facing a life-threatening illness and treatment is sometimes as painful as the illness itself. Hair loss might seem like a small worry, but for me, it was just the opposite. So far, losing my hair has been one of the biggest fears and one of the most emotionally upsetting experiences of my whole cancer journey . Once my hair was gone, I felt like I was now an official cancer patient.

When my hair began to thin, I texted my hair stylist, Shaylee, who is also my daughter’s best friend, telling her that it was time to shave my hair. She immediately responded saying she would be over later that evening to complete the task. By the time she arrived, I had changed my mind and told her I couldn’t do it. She suggested we cut my hair into a short style for now, hoping to decrease the pain of losing ALL my hair at once. I thought it was a good idea. She cut my hair into a short style and I loved it! Now, I really didn’t want to lose my hair because I liked the cut so much. Within a week or so, my hair had fallen out enough I knew I had no choice but shave it. Once again, Shaylee came over with her shears in hand.

I was dreading having anyone see me bald. I had hoped Shaylee could do it in the dark. What was I thinking? We prepared a spot in the bathroom, I took my seat and realized both my daughters, Michelle and Becca had come into the room and shut the door. They were encouraging me, rooting me on. Well, how could I kick them out of the room, they are my very own personal pep club!

I thought to myself, what the heck, took a deep breath, flipped my cap off and told Shaylee to have at it. It didn’t take her but a few minutes, and then my cap was back on covering my head with no hair. No one, including Joe, has seen my round little bald head.

The next day Shaylee posted the following on facebook:

"The real defanition for beautiful....I got to share a special moment between 2 daughters and a mother who are close to me. Beauty is not looking sexy in a short skirt that barley fits your body or wearing so much makeup to cover what you think are imperfections that where made from birth, that when you take it off before bed at night You don't even reconize yourself because your covering up who you really are...BEAUTY is someone struggling to hold on to life who appears to be weak from the outside but the mind of a fighter with faith beyond measure, when you hear her voice and her strength of courage it immediately over loads you with tears that begin to create a waterfall, as she sits with her perfect round head, accepting the cards dealt to her and finding the postivite experience of cancer... that's pure BEAUTY if ive ever seen it!! No ONE FIGHTS ALONE!

                 Thank you Shaylee for lifting my spirits and deeply touching my heart!

And thank you Rebecca and Michelle for encouraging me to battle on

and loving me with or without hair!

 I love you girls!!!