When ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God, Mosiah 2:17

We were deeply touched by the kind service from the Achievement Day girls from our ward. They surprised us with a delicious dinner. We enjoyed their sweet spirits and loved having them in our home. Aren't they beautiful? They are lucky to have two great leaders who are such great examples. Thank you girls and leaders!

My surgery is schedule for May 9th. I am still sorting through all the emotions I feel. I do know one thing for sure...I'm terrified! But like I said before, who wouldn't be?

Wow! Holy cow, what a day! The results of my CTC weren’t exactly what we expected. In our naïve minds we expected a yes or no answer to the question: is the cancer shrinking? The results indicated good news, bad news and unexpected news. I will attempt to explain the results and what the doctor said in the simplest terms. I know of no other way anyway. 

The CT scan was taken from the chest to the lower abdomen on 4/16/2012 (Happy Anniversary). It’s compared to the first one taken on 2/14/2012 (Happy Valentine’s Day).

The not so good news:
Lungs: there are three lumps that appear to be stable/not changing.

The good news/so so news:

Liver: a previously noted lesion of the liver is less conspicuous. YAY! However, (oh shoot) there is an apparent new small lesion on the liver. It was not evident on the prior scan.

The good good news:

The Primary Peritoneal Carcinoma aka Ovarian Cancer (yes, it is possible to have ovarian cancer without ovaries, cuz I’m proof) is responding to the chemotherapy. It is less conspicuous, in other words, it’s shrinking. Yippee!!

The bad news:

There is no significant change to the cancer on the omentum. The omentum is a fatty type apron that covers and protects the stomach.

Unexpected News:
Because the cancer on the omentum isn’t responding to chemotherapy, my doctor recommended having the omentum surgically removed. If other tumors can safely be removed, it will be done at this time also. This is referred to as debulking surgery.

Our options are: #1-have the surgery done now, in the middle of the six cycles of chemotherapy, or #2-have it done at the end of the six cycles of chemotherapy. My doctor explained the benefits of having it done now rather than waiting. After prayerfully considering his suggestion, we made the decision to have the surgery now. I will discontinue chemotherapy for now. After healing from surgery, I will continue the last three cycles of chemotherapy.

I am NOT looking forward to surgery! Honestly, who would be? However, I hope to gain a little strength and energy before surgery. And possibly grow a stubble of hair on my perfectly round, shiny white bald head.

We apologize for taking so long to post. I know many have been waiting to hear the results.  We needed some time to absorb everything that happened today. Because it’s impossible to call everyone, we wanted to make sure what we posted made sense. We hope we have accomplished this. We hope we haven’t confused you too much, but this really is a condensed version of the CTC.

Joe and I, our family, are deeply grateful for everyone’s support, positive thoughts, encouragement and love. Thank you all!

We are grateful for a loving, merciful, Heavenly Father who listens to our pleas and answers our prayers. We have witnessed his hand often guiding us and helping us fight this fight. We are grateful He has blessed us with all of you! We couldn't endure without each and everyone of you!

NO ONE FIGHTS ALONE!!!
We must fight a little harder, a little longer. :)

 Tomorrow is chemo day. I must admit I'm dreading it. :(

I have it in my head the side effects are going to be worse, that seems to be the pattern. It's hard to stay positive while experiencing muscles and bones ache, nausea and puking my guts out. Feeling queasy and constipated constantly are the norm. Sorry...TMI. My face and neck turn red, it feels like a sunburn, only burning from the inside out. I constantly feel a burning, numb, itchy sensation on the bottom of my feet and palms of my hands.  My face, especial my eyes, are puffy and swollen. My tongue is swollen and tingly. Swallowing has becme difficult. I get strange cravings. Avoiding dehydration is nearly impossible. I sleep ten hours, wake up tired and weak. I stumble downstairs, eat breakfast, then back upstairs for a nap. Getting ready for the day nearly wipes me right out. I'm tired of being tired. I'm tired of feeling like I have a bad case of the flu. I sleep with the window slightly open and the ceiling fan on. Joe freezes, but never complains. On a good day, if I have enough strength, I try to do a task or two to help Joe and Rebecca with the house work. Okay...enough complaining...I'll get off my pity potty and quit whining.

Speaking of Joe...this week is our anniversary. It's hard to believe how fast the years have passed. Joe and I met on August 31, 1974. We've had our ups and downs, good times and bad times, just like everyone else. My prayer is to have many more years together. Joe has been so loving and supportive. He takes me to all my appointments. He stays by my side the full six hours of my chemotherapy. He sits with me while I sleep and makes me laugh when I'm awake. He encourages me when I'm down. holding me tight when I cry. He has taken over the cleaning, laundry and grocery shopping. He never complains and never makes me feel like a burden. He just keeps loving me and loves me more the next day. There are no words to express how much I love him. I appreciate all he does for me. I am so blessed to have him.

Okay...enough of the sappy stuff. I better get myself psyched for tomorrow. I feel a nap coming on.

It's almost time for my fourth treatment. My third treatment, March 29th, was similar to the first and second treatment, but the side effects were a little worse. The nausea, fatigue, weakness, muscles and bone aches, numbness in my feet and hands intensified. I suffer mental lapse and forgetfulness, which of course, is due to the chemo. ;) The good news is, I am half way through my treatments!

I have days when I am discouraged and wonder how much longer I can cope. I read this scripture and quote on the same day.

 ”Press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: ye shall have eternal life”
(2 Nephi 31:20)

I thought of what Christ went through for me. How could I complain? How could I forget all the pain and agony he suffered? How could I not ”endure to the end”? And not just to endure, but to endure well, to endure with faith and hope and courage.

President Uchtdorf said:

”...to all who suffer---to all who feel discouraged, worried or lonely---I say with love and deep concern for you, never give in.
Never surrender.
Never let despair to overcome your spirit.”

This was exactly what I needed. If I ”Press forward with a steadfastness in Christ.....ye shall have eternal life”. This promise is very comforting to me.

This weekend we took a small road trip to Henderson, Nevada to see our daughter, Anna. It turned out our son, David, and our other daughter, Rebecca, and all the grand kids went down too! We had a blast! I wasn't able to walk far so we took a wheelchair. Poor Rebecca pushed me around most of the time, and yes, she was sore the next day. It was so good to have everyone together.

Riley, Grace and Devon at the M&M Factory

Devon, Riley, Rebecca and Grace

Devon, Riley and Grace.

All of us eating breakfast. 

We had so much fun! I can't wait to go again!

Today, I had a CT scan to see if the tumor is shrinking. We should know the results by Thursday. I will post more then.

Have a happy week!