Riley's birthday

'

Riley

How time flies! This month we celebrated Riley's 6th birthday. It's hard to believe he's six years old and has started kindergarten! I remember the day he was born as if it were yesterday. It was a sunny day, Monday, October 9, 2006. Joe and I took off work to spend the day together. Everyone needs to do that once in a while. We left early that morning, stopping for breakfast before heading up to Park City.

I especially remember the drive up to Park City. The canyon colors were beautiful. Joe and I had a really good time talking and laughing the entire way up. We had just arrived at the outlets in Park City when my son called to tell us he was taking his wife to the hospital, she was in labor.

I wanted to go to the Carter's outlet to get some clothes for our new grandbaby. To save time, Joe and I each picked out some ourtfits, we combined the ones we both liked, paid for them and headed back home.

Riley was born a few hours after we arrived at the hospital. What a blessed day!

I loved being a mom so I always knew I would love being a grandma. Already having two grandchildren I knew I would love this new little one with the same kind of special love grandma's have for their grandchildren.

What surprised me and something I was not prepared for, was how much my grandchildren were going to love ME! Mom and dad do all the non fun stuff, but my job is to simply bring joy into their little life. In return, they believe that grandma is the most amazing person in the world!

They think Grandpa is pretty amazing too! Early yesterday morning Joe was sitting in our bedroom as he usually does while I sleep. I heard our granddaughter Grace come in; she walked over to Joe and said, "Hi, Grandpa", and gave him a hug. He replied, "Good morning Grace, would you like some cereal?" She said, "Yes please." What's so neat about that you might wonder? Well, there is nothing more touching than hearing a sweet voice call you grandma or grandpa and receive a hug that generates nothing but warmth, affection and a feeling of acceptance. It reaches inside and touches your soul! Our grandkids adore their grandpa and he adores them! :)

I have wonderful memories of my grandchildren's birth and more as they grow older. They fill our life with joy and love. They are truly God's gift. Joe and I couldn't have asked for a greater blessing than the one we received that fall day - October 9, 2006.

Fun in Vegas

 Fun in Vegas!

 

 

Canyon ride.

      Due to my illness we weren't able to do most of the activities we normally do during the summer. I especially missed going up in the mountains.  Joe insisted on taking me for a ride yesterday through the canyons to see the changing colors. We drove through Sardine and Fork Smith Canyon. Across Avon (Monte Cristo Range) coming home through Weber Canyon. The canyons were beautiful. Sardine had the most color. We saw deer, elk, and wild turkey's and buffalo.
      I am so grateful Joe knows the desires of my heart. :))

Brucie Bear. Cody's new puppy!

     Grace lost her dog Bruce, in a terrible accident two weeks ago. She was devastated to say the least. When her daddy told her about the accident, she cried so hard she fell asleep twice from exhaustion. The following morning, she got up, ran through the house calling his name. She was calling for him out in the back yard before Brandon got to her. He said she just stared at him not wanting to believe Brucie Bear was gone. Losing Bruce was just as hard on Brandon. Bruce was Brandon's first dog he ever had in his whole life. A couple of times Bruce stayed with us for a while. I loved that little dog! I think I cried almost as much as Grace.
     Our four legged friends become a part of the family. Although they can be a great responsibility, they bring us far more joy.
     My dogs always seemed so sympathetic when I was sick. Harlie layed at the foot of my bed, she never left my room. If I got up, she followed. Jake stayed with Joe while he worked. Joe said he would occasionally get up, go into my room, check on me and then return and lay next to his desk. For a few days after I went back to work, Harlie was a little confused. She would whimper until I followed her up to my room where she jumped on the bed wagging her tail. She couldn't figure out how come we weren't spending our day in my room. :)
     Cody got a new puppy this past week. Becca has been tending it while he works. Grace has had so much fun playing with him.
    

    I think someone is ready for a new puppy! What do you think?
   

 

September 23rd 

 

Happy Birthday Rebecca & David !!!

We hope that you touch the life of thousands of other people with the same happiness, care and love that you have touched ours!

 

September 27th

 

We love you!

Rascal Flatts - I Won't Let Go (Lyrics)

Best Friends - Grace & Riley

BEST FRIENDS

 

To all of you who love us, fought with us, lifted and encouraged us, we thank you! Your very presence brought us strength, hope and your love gave us our reason to fight. You have touched our lives deeply, we will be forever grateful for you.

No names, but you will recognize yourselves:

* When you heard I was diagnosed with cancer, you rallied around me and my family expressing love, support and encouragement.

* When we called, you came right away to give me and my family as many priesthood blessings as we needed.

* You posted on my Facebook the song “I’m Gonna Love You Through It” by Martina McBride, to help motivate me. (: And it did! 

* When I took a leave of absence from work, you reassured me my substitute was only temporary and not to worry, but to concentrate on getting well.

* You provided dinner, sometimes more than once or twice, nourishing my family in more ways than you can imagine. What angels you are! :-))

*You sold more “No One FIGHTS Alone” wrist bands, than I thought possible. You will never know how much this helped us.

* You faithfully wore the wrist band you purchased. It deeply touched my heart every time I saw you wearing it.

* When my hair started to fall out, you came immediately to my home, sparing me from having to go to the salon. You gave me a cute haircut lessening the trauma of losing all my hair at once. You came again when I lost my hair.  

* You offered to shave your hair.

* You sent cards and letters, which enabled me to revisit your encouragement and love whenever I needed it.

*You came to the hospital, sacrificing your time to be with Joe during my surgeries.

* When I was in the hospital to have surgery, you came to visit.

* During my hospital stay, you sent or brought me beautiful flowers and plenty of goodies to eat.

* A bouquet of “Get Well” balloons were tied to a cute dragon fly garden light in our front yard when I arrived home from the hospital after having surgery. Before going into the house, Joe carefully walked (actually carried me, I was very weak) over to the balloons so I could get a better look at them. Standing in total silence gazing at the balloons, Joe looked at me and I looked at him, we both had tears running down our checks, we were so moved by this kind act.

* You gave me a “buckeye” nut. Folklore says if you carry a buckeye nut in your pocket and rub it when you’re in need of good luck, it will be granted to you. It is considered a good luck charm. And it works!!!

* You drove me to my appointments and stayed with me, sometimes for hours.

* You gave freely of your time to stay with me after my treatment making sure I had everything I needed when Joe was out of town. ß-This is love.

* You brought me Haagen-Dazs bars (which I am now addicted too!)

* You generously gave to help pay for my fight.

* You left beautiful flowers on my porch.

* You came to check on me after my treatments, visiting with me sometimes for hours. How did you know that’s exactly what I needed?

* You sat with me and held me while I fell apart. You not only let me cry—you cried with me. You listened while I expressed my fears, while you secretly shared the same ones. Then you helped me pick up the pieces, reminded me why I was fighting, giving me the strength I needed to go on.

* Unable to sleep one night from chronic muscle, bone and joint pain, you massaged oils on my legs easing the pain enough for me to finally fall asleep.

* Not only did you do the laundry and ironing, cleaning, preparing meals, and all the chores I normally do, you took care of me, making sure I had everything I needed and was as comfortable as I could be.

* You gave me an inspiring book and a beautiful Willow Tree Figurine.

* You gave me a beautiful soft throw to keep me warm. I love it!

* You brightened my day when you left flowers and cookies on my porch.

* You left chocolate candy on my porch. And you’re right, chocolate does makes things better!  (:

* You and your hubby made us a delicious dinner. You gave me a necklace that says “Keep Calm and Carry On”, a wonderful book and beautiful angel pin. You were always there when I needed comfort or a shoulder to cry on.

* You saved mine and Joe’s sanity, taking us out for treats and/or dinner. When I wasn’t feeling well enough to go out, you brought dinner in, eating with us at home. That was so much fun!

* You took me to the movies.

* You sent me a “Pajama Gram”. Cutest pajama’s I’ve ever seen!

* You gave me a beautiful Willow tree figurine. It helped me to stay strong and positive.

* Along with dinner, you gave me a beautiful necklace.

* You called or text often asking how I was and if I needed anything.

* You posted (on Facebook/blog) positive thoughts, encouraging me to hang in there, giving me the confidence I needed to keep going.

* You left a wonderful book on my porch for me to find. I love surprises!

* You wore a teal ribbon pin on your uniform to show your support.

* You sent me a kind thoughtful text on Mother’s day. I reread it often. (:

* You brought delicious Banana Nut Muffins. So yummy!

* You brought my favorite chocolate donuts from Maverick.

* You made scrambled eggs and blueberry muffins for my breakfast. Yummm!

* For those of you who called ahead asking Joe if it was okay to come visit and he replied, yes, but to see me you’d have to bring him ice cream treats…thank you! I had NO idea he was doing this. He thinks he’s sooo funny!  

* You brought me a table runner pattern and fabric, giving me something to do when I felt well enough to sew.

* You gave me a cute tile with the words “HEY CANCER, YOU PICKED THE WRONG BROAD!” When I was discouraged and ready to give up, these words inspired me to adjust my attitude and keep going.

* When I forgot why I was fighting, you reminded me.

* You came because I sounded like I needed you.

* You offered to take this wicked disease, all my pain and suffering from me…if it were possible.  

* You came home teaching and took us out to eat at Olive Garden.

* You offered to send pizza to our home for our dinner when I didn't feel like cooking.

* You allowed my husband to work from home. We cannot express how deeply grateful we are for this opportunity.

* You drove seventy five miles to bring us pizza, not once, but twice. You called often with concern and encouragement. Having lost your wife to the same disease, you were able to offer us the support and guidance that no else could give unless they themselves had gone through this same experience. You showed great courage. We are deeply grateful for all you have done for us.

* You faithfully prayed, not only for me, but my family, my doctors and nurses. You put our names on the prayer rolls at the temple. We have experienced positive effects of being on the templ's prayer roll and felt the support and concern of others. 

Last week my family and friends surprised me with a party to celebrate being in remission.  Boy, was I ever surprised! I had no idea Joe and Rebecca were up to something! I was so deeply touched by all those who took the time out of their busy schedule to come. It was better than Christmas morning! Thanks everyone! You are my inspiration and reason for fighting! You've all had a profound impact on my life, I love you all!

Monte was so nice to help out serving cake to everyone! Thanks Monte!

 My friends and family!  :)

Joe talking to his brother Bill.

No One FIGHTS Alone!! Take THAT PPC!!

I think the Photo speaks for itself. PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED!!!

What happened to July? It just flew by. We had a fun filled 4th of July. Family, parade, breakfast, city park fun, BBQ, and fireworks. To celebrate the 24th, me, Joe, Rebecca and Cody had VIP Rodeo tickets. That's the only way to go to the rodeo, dinner before and reserved seats! Yes, I know, I'm spoiled. Cody talked us into going to the parade in Ogden, something we've never done. Afterward, we went to breakfast. Normally, we don't do anything for the 24th, we really enjoyed the day this year.

It's hard to believe August is almost over. School starts in less than two weeks. Today, I received my route sheets for the new school year. I really hope I can start on the first day along with everyone else.

I had my last treatment two weeks ago. I have to say...it kicked my butt!!! It's amazing to me how different my body responds to each treatment. My treatment before last, wasn't too bad, I was tired and felt flu like symptoms, but I dressed and made it through each day. What is usually the worst day for side effects, I went to an eight hour (very boring) meeting! This last treatment, I had serious fatigue, nausea, and chronic muscle and joint pain. Just the usual, except more intense. But, I was thrilled to get it over with. I had a cat scan a few days ago, I should get the results this week.

Other events during the month of August....Michelle was here for a week for Grace's birthday. It was so nice having her home, but as usual, the visit was too short. It was my turn to have Grace's birthday party at our home. It's always fun getting together with my kids and grandkids, Brandon, his parents and all his siblings (7 of them) and their kids. Joe's two kids and Michelle's friends came up from Salt Lake this year. It was good to see them! Grace had so much fun, we had kids running around everywhere. It's was great! Grace's cousins and Joe's kids spent the night. I enjoyed having them stay even though I was exhausted when they all went home

I am grateful Grace is surrounded by cousins, aunts and uncles, her (other) grandparents and parents who love her and what a great example they are for her to follow. She is so blessed to be a part of a such a good, honorable, decent, loving family. I am a firm believer "it takes a whole village to raise a child."  In today's world, kids need all the help they can get to stay on the straight and narrow path. I am reminded of what Henry B. Eyring said:

“Our most important and powerful assignments are in the family. They are important because the family has the opportunity at the start off a child’s life to put feet firmly on the path home. Parents, brothers and sisters, grandparents, aunts and uncles are made more powerful guides and rescuers by the bonds of love that are the very nature of a family.” 

Joe and Rebecca have been getting up at five every morning to go running. They are training to participate in a 5k around Lake Cornelia in Minnesota next month for Silent No More Walk/Run for Ovarian Cancer. Joe has a supplier from Minnesota who's sister had ovarian cancer, she was involved in starting the organization sponsoring this run. And...did you know....September is National Ovarian Awarenes Month? Neither did I! I don't know what events are planned except Friday, September 7th is Wear Teal Day. (Teal is the color for ovarian cancer.)

 Again, to all those who have extended their love and support, we thank you! To all those who offer prayers in our behalf, thank you! And to those who have and continue to put our name in at the temple, thank you, thank you! YOU are our hereos, our support, and our reason to keep on fighting!

I will close for now...Joe has gone out of town this week, soooo....I am headed to my sewing room.
No One Fights Along!

I thought I would give an update on how things are going, it's been a while since my last post. My chemo treatments were delayed due to an infection I've struggled with the past few weeks. Also, my platelets were too low. For three weeks, everyday I've had to go to the hospital for IV antibiotics. We seemed to be making progress fighting the infection when I developed a blockage in my small intestine. Talk about pain! For two days, everything I ate (and believe me, I eat a lot) sat in my stomach. My stomach became inflamed causing severe pain. Joe called my doctor, he had me come in right away. Needless to say, while waiting for the doctor to come into the exam room, I threw up and threw up and threw up in the garbage can. I've never thrown up as much I did then. The good news is, instantly, the pain was gone. The doctor came in after I was done throwing up and asked where my pain was. I pointed to the garbage can and said "in there". He said it's not uncommon for this to happen after the type of surgery I had. I had two or three more episodes of eating, pain, throwing up. For a couple days my diet was liquid only, and small portions at that. This is a challenge for me, because if I can't eat, I'm pretty miserable. Finally, food passed threw and I was able to eat normal portions again. And my platelets returned to normal.

I had my fifth chemo treatment last week. The side effects weren't as intense as previous treatments. I refused to be layed up the usual four to five days I'm usual down. I had a 8 hour mandatory meeting at work the following Monday, which I'm proud to say I made it through the whole meeting. Tuesday night, severe stomach pain returned. We ended up going to the emergency room spending most the night there. We got home at four in the morning. Joe had to be in Salt Lake by 6:30am with a full day visiting suppliers. He got home about 5pm, totally exhausted.

My sixth, and LAST treatment is scheduled for the 30th. I hesitate to announce that for fear of jinxing it. I am looking forward to building up my strength and feel like my old self again, physically and emotionally. The last few weeks have taken a toll on me emotionally. I think because of the delays in treatment stretching it out further than we expected. There are certain kinds of pain others don't see. I'm not talking about the physical pain, I'm talking about the "dead-dog-tired-of-it-all" pain. Many believe the most difficult aspect of cancer is the physical pain. Wrong, wrong, wrong! I recently had someone say to me, "boy, you sure look good, you must be feeling good." Really? Just because I look good on the outside doesn't mean I feel the same on the inside. And just because you can't "see" the pain doesn't mean that it's not there.

I thank all of you who continue to pray for me and my family. We feel those prayers and have seen them work many times. Fighting cancer has been the second hardest thing I have ever done in my life. But I was not alone and I am truly blessed. I am forever changed because of the tender mercies of prayer. It has given me the strength to fight.

Happy First Day of Summer! I just love summer, long days, warm weather, and no school for the grandkids…or me either! Gotta love it!

Sooo…yesterday I felt great. I haven’t felt that good since I was diagnosed with cancer in January. I wasn’t nauseated, weak, tired and I could feel my hands and feet. I was busting with energy. I was able to ‘spring clean’ my bedroom. I set out to clean our house windows inside and out. Joe nearly had a stroke when he came into the front yard and saw I had climbed the ladder to wash the second story windows. He insisted on helping me which meant I could do the windows on the lower level. Afterwards, I did a little yard work. I would have continued cleaning, but Joe put his foot down about 10 p.m. actually, he was dead dog tired trying to keep up with me all day. Just before falling asleep, I mentally made a list of all the things I was going to accomplish the next day. Yeah, right!

I should have known…the next morning I woke up nauseated and weak, by the end of the day I was throwing up and barely able to walk. Joe thinks I over did it the day before, I disagree because I didn’t feeling worn-out or exhausted by the end of the day. Anyway, I’m hoping for a better day tomorrow.

Next Thursday is round five of chemotherapy. I hope I feel well for the fourth of July. This is one of our family’s favorite holidays. We start the day going to West Point’s parade. After that, Joe cooks breakfast. Later the kids swim and play games; afterwards, we all take a nap then begin the second round of fun…barbecue and fireworks!

After treatment six, I’ll have a CT scan to see if the chemo is working. Of course, we are praying for good news that this horrible nightmare will end, but if not, it will mean more chemotherapy. I don’t even want to think of going through more treatments. I am worn out…emotionally. I want my life back. I want to feel good, no more medicines, shots, nausea, fatigue, muscle and joint aches, no more trips to the hospital. I know Joe and my family want this as much as I do. We are praying this will be the outcome. We should know by the end of July.

It’s hard to believe it has been four weeks since my surgery. The surgery went well. I spent nine days in the hospital…nine  l o n g  days. The surgery was radical, but the doctors felt they had achieved optimal results. Two weeks after being discharged from the hospital, I had a follow up appointment with my surgeon. I asked him to explain the details of the surgery. (I really don’t remember much during my hospital stay due to heavy pain medication).  Joe and I didn’t realize how large the tumors were and how much cancer there was. The doctor removed my omentum, which was most diseased. He said if I hadn’t had it removed, I would have gone within 12 months. He removed tumors from my peritoneal and liver. A section of my colon and right diaphragm was removed also. He was unable to remove another tumor on my liver due to the size and thickness of the tumor. We are hoping this tumor responds to chemotherapy. I had chemotherapy on Thursday. We are praying I will only have to have two more treatments completing the 6 cycles.

My recovery has gone well with only a couple minor complications. The days are long and boring, but I’m comfortable and have had minimal pain. Thanks to medication, of course.

We have been blessed in so many ways. Joe’s work offered him the option to work from home. His manager, supervisor and coworkers have been incredible supportive. They felt Joe needed to be home to help me as much as possible. His out of town trips have been reduced also. We are so grateful for this blessing.

Joe did go on a trip this past week. Two of my dear friends drove me to the hospital for my chemo treatment and sat with me all day. The next day, they both spent the day at my house while I slept making sure I was ok. How loving is that?

It has been said that the greatest gift that can be given is to lay down one’s own life for another. Many of our loved one’s lives have been laid down, put on hold, and set aside as we fight for ours. It is truly a gift beyond measure.

Post Surgery!!

Hey Everyone! Sincere apologies I haven't made an update on Mom and her surgery!! Everything went great! She went in a champ and came out a champ! She spent one night in ICU for monitoring purposes and then was moved to another room to relax and heal. Doctor feels confident he got most of the cancer out and the chemo will be able to get the rest!! She's been healing ahead of schedule and is still her spit fire self and doesn't miss a beat!! Thank you for all the prayers, thoughts, flowers, and so much more! We appreciate it all and are so thankful for each and everyone of you!! I will post more when we get home and settled!!

Why is it every time I sit down to write, my mind goes totally blank? Maybe because there's not much going on. I've been trying to mentally prepare myself for surgery next week. Joe has been so encouraging and positive. He said I should look at the surgery as a blessing in disguise. He is right, it is a blessing. And I should be grateful it is available to me and that we have a highly recommended doctor to perform the surgery. 

Speaking of Joe...what would I do without him? He is always so positive and encourages me to keep fighting. When I run out of steam, he picks up and keeps going. When I'm awake at night, he is too, making sure I'm ok. Although I have no hair, my face is swollen, and sometimes I'm as pale as a ghost, he treats me beautiful. He is kind and thoughtful even when I'm ornery or sick. I am grateful how he loves me and cares for me. He has always treated me this way even during the bad times. He brings me flowers every birthday, anniversary and Mother's day. He loves his kids and grandchildren. He works hard to support our family. He involves me in his life, but shields me when it's too much. His faith is strong and I know he loves the Lord and the gospel. I appreciate all he does and i love him dearly. I'm thankful he is my partner and he is who he is. 

Anna will be coming home soon to help while I am recovering. I can't wait! I'm sure Joe and Rebecca can't either, it will relieve them a little. Rebecca has been the best nurse and housekeeper. I can only imagine what the house would look like if it weren't for her. Thanks Rebecca for all you do! 

My daughters will post how things are going while I'm down. I will take everyone's encouraging words, positive thoughts and love with me. Thanks everyone for lifting me when I need it most and for brightening my day. I love each and everyone of you! :-)

When ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God, Mosiah 2:17

We were deeply touched by the kind service from the Achievement Day girls from our ward. They surprised us with a delicious dinner. We enjoyed their sweet spirits and loved having them in our home. Aren't they beautiful? They are lucky to have two great leaders who are such great examples. Thank you girls and leaders!

My surgery is schedule for May 9th. I am still sorting through all the emotions I feel. I do know one thing for sure...I'm terrified! But like I said before, who wouldn't be?

Wow! Holy cow, what a day! The results of my CTC weren’t exactly what we expected. In our naïve minds we expected a yes or no answer to the question: is the cancer shrinking? The results indicated good news, bad news and unexpected news. I will attempt to explain the results and what the doctor said in the simplest terms. I know of no other way anyway. 

The CT scan was taken from the chest to the lower abdomen on 4/16/2012 (Happy Anniversary). It’s compared to the first one taken on 2/14/2012 (Happy Valentine’s Day).

The not so good news:
Lungs: there are three lumps that appear to be stable/not changing.

The good news/so so news:

Liver: a previously noted lesion of the liver is less conspicuous. YAY! However, (oh shoot) there is an apparent new small lesion on the liver. It was not evident on the prior scan.

The good good news:

The Primary Peritoneal Carcinoma aka Ovarian Cancer (yes, it is possible to have ovarian cancer without ovaries, cuz I’m proof) is responding to the chemotherapy. It is less conspicuous, in other words, it’s shrinking. Yippee!!

The bad news:

There is no significant change to the cancer on the omentum. The omentum is a fatty type apron that covers and protects the stomach.

Unexpected News:
Because the cancer on the omentum isn’t responding to chemotherapy, my doctor recommended having the omentum surgically removed. If other tumors can safely be removed, it will be done at this time also. This is referred to as debulking surgery.

Our options are: #1-have the surgery done now, in the middle of the six cycles of chemotherapy, or #2-have it done at the end of the six cycles of chemotherapy. My doctor explained the benefits of having it done now rather than waiting. After prayerfully considering his suggestion, we made the decision to have the surgery now. I will discontinue chemotherapy for now. After healing from surgery, I will continue the last three cycles of chemotherapy.

I am NOT looking forward to surgery! Honestly, who would be? However, I hope to gain a little strength and energy before surgery. And possibly grow a stubble of hair on my perfectly round, shiny white bald head.

We apologize for taking so long to post. I know many have been waiting to hear the results.  We needed some time to absorb everything that happened today. Because it’s impossible to call everyone, we wanted to make sure what we posted made sense. We hope we have accomplished this. We hope we haven’t confused you too much, but this really is a condensed version of the CTC.

Joe and I, our family, are deeply grateful for everyone’s support, positive thoughts, encouragement and love. Thank you all!

We are grateful for a loving, merciful, Heavenly Father who listens to our pleas and answers our prayers. We have witnessed his hand often guiding us and helping us fight this fight. We are grateful He has blessed us with all of you! We couldn't endure without each and everyone of you!

NO ONE FIGHTS ALONE!!!
We must fight a little harder, a little longer. :)

 Tomorrow is chemo day. I must admit I'm dreading it. :(

I have it in my head the side effects are going to be worse, that seems to be the pattern. It's hard to stay positive while experiencing muscles and bones ache, nausea and puking my guts out. Feeling queasy and constipated constantly are the norm. Sorry...TMI. My face and neck turn red, it feels like a sunburn, only burning from the inside out. I constantly feel a burning, numb, itchy sensation on the bottom of my feet and palms of my hands.  My face, especial my eyes, are puffy and swollen. My tongue is swollen and tingly. Swallowing has becme difficult. I get strange cravings. Avoiding dehydration is nearly impossible. I sleep ten hours, wake up tired and weak. I stumble downstairs, eat breakfast, then back upstairs for a nap. Getting ready for the day nearly wipes me right out. I'm tired of being tired. I'm tired of feeling like I have a bad case of the flu. I sleep with the window slightly open and the ceiling fan on. Joe freezes, but never complains. On a good day, if I have enough strength, I try to do a task or two to help Joe and Rebecca with the house work. Okay...enough complaining...I'll get off my pity potty and quit whining.

Speaking of Joe...this week is our anniversary. It's hard to believe how fast the years have passed. Joe and I met on August 31, 1974. We've had our ups and downs, good times and bad times, just like everyone else. My prayer is to have many more years together. Joe has been so loving and supportive. He takes me to all my appointments. He stays by my side the full six hours of my chemotherapy. He sits with me while I sleep and makes me laugh when I'm awake. He encourages me when I'm down. holding me tight when I cry. He has taken over the cleaning, laundry and grocery shopping. He never complains and never makes me feel like a burden. He just keeps loving me and loves me more the next day. There are no words to express how much I love him. I appreciate all he does for me. I am so blessed to have him.

Okay...enough of the sappy stuff. I better get myself psyched for tomorrow. I feel a nap coming on.

It's almost time for my fourth treatment. My third treatment, March 29th, was similar to the first and second treatment, but the side effects were a little worse. The nausea, fatigue, weakness, muscles and bone aches, numbness in my feet and hands intensified. I suffer mental lapse and forgetfulness, which of course, is due to the chemo. ;) The good news is, I am half way through my treatments!

I have days when I am discouraged and wonder how much longer I can cope. I read this scripture and quote on the same day.

 ”Press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: ye shall have eternal life”
(2 Nephi 31:20)

I thought of what Christ went through for me. How could I complain? How could I forget all the pain and agony he suffered? How could I not ”endure to the end”? And not just to endure, but to endure well, to endure with faith and hope and courage.

President Uchtdorf said:

”...to all who suffer---to all who feel discouraged, worried or lonely---I say with love and deep concern for you, never give in.
Never surrender.
Never let despair to overcome your spirit.”

This was exactly what I needed. If I ”Press forward with a steadfastness in Christ.....ye shall have eternal life”. This promise is very comforting to me.

This weekend we took a small road trip to Henderson, Nevada to see our daughter, Anna. It turned out our son, David, and our other daughter, Rebecca, and all the grand kids went down too! We had a blast! I wasn't able to walk far so we took a wheelchair. Poor Rebecca pushed me around most of the time, and yes, she was sore the next day. It was so good to have everyone together.

Riley, Grace and Devon at the M&M Factory

Devon, Riley, Rebecca and Grace

Devon, Riley and Grace.

All of us eating breakfast. 

We had so much fun! I can't wait to go again!

Today, I had a CT scan to see if the tumor is shrinking. We should know the results by Thursday. I will post more then.

Have a happy week!

When my doctor told me to expect hair loss two to three weeks after my first treatment, I began to psychologically prepare myself, thinking it would make it easier when the time came. No matter how many times I told myself it wasn't going to be that bad, or that my hair was going to grow back after treatment, etc., it was still a traumatic experience.

Facing a life-threatening illness and treatment is sometimes as painful as the illness itself. Hair loss might seem like a small worry, but for me, it was just the opposite. So far, losing my hair has been one of the biggest fears and one of the most emotionally upsetting experiences of my whole cancer journey . Once my hair was gone, I felt like I was now an official cancer patient.

When my hair began to thin, I texted my hair stylist, Shaylee, who is also my daughter’s best friend, telling her that it was time to shave my hair. She immediately responded saying she would be over later that evening to complete the task. By the time she arrived, I had changed my mind and told her I couldn’t do it. She suggested we cut my hair into a short style for now, hoping to decrease the pain of losing ALL my hair at once. I thought it was a good idea. She cut my hair into a short style and I loved it! Now, I really didn’t want to lose my hair because I liked the cut so much. Within a week or so, my hair had fallen out enough I knew I had no choice but shave it. Once again, Shaylee came over with her shears in hand.

I was dreading having anyone see me bald. I had hoped Shaylee could do it in the dark. What was I thinking? We prepared a spot in the bathroom, I took my seat and realized both my daughters, Michelle and Becca had come into the room and shut the door. They were encouraging me, rooting me on. Well, how could I kick them out of the room, they are my very own personal pep club!

I thought to myself, what the heck, took a deep breath, flipped my cap off and told Shaylee to have at it. It didn’t take her but a few minutes, and then my cap was back on covering my head with no hair. No one, including Joe, has seen my round little bald head.

The next day Shaylee posted the following on facebook:

"The real defanition for beautiful....I got to share a special moment between 2 daughters and a mother who are close to me. Beauty is not looking sexy in a short skirt that barley fits your body or wearing so much makeup to cover what you think are imperfections that where made from birth, that when you take it off before bed at night You don't even reconize yourself because your covering up who you really are...BEAUTY is someone struggling to hold on to life who appears to be weak from the outside but the mind of a fighter with faith beyond measure, when you hear her voice and her strength of courage it immediately over loads you with tears that begin to create a waterfall, as she sits with her perfect round head, accepting the cards dealt to her and finding the postivite experience of cancer... that's pure BEAUTY if ive ever seen it!! No ONE FIGHTS ALONE!

                 Thank you Shaylee for lifting my spirits and deeply touching my heart!

And thank you Rebecca and Michelle for encouraging me to battle on

and loving me with or without hair!

 I love you girls!!!

I can't believe March is almost over. Our month has been busy. My daughter, Michelle, came home to visit the first of the month. She completely took over cleaning, cooking and laundry, which was not only a big help for me, but it gave Joe and Rebecca a break too. Thanks Michelle!

I'm so blessed to have the support I have. My husband always makes sure I'm comfortable and that I have everything I need. My kids have taken over all my duties (cleaning an such). And my grand kids keep me laughing and provide many hugs and kisses. We have been feed very well thanks to friends and the sisters from our ward. We've had several visitors, which I enjoy very much. A close childhood friend of mine spent the day with me! A cousin from California also came to visit! It was so good to see her! Friends have taken us out for rides, treats, dinner and many have came to visit, sent cards, emails and messages. We are overwhelmed by the kindness and service so many have extended to us! I think I've said this before; I had no idea I had so many friends! We send our heartfelt appreciation and love to each and everyone one of you! All that everyone does, lifts me and empowers me to continue my battle in fighting this horrible disease.

My third round of chemo is this Thursday. I experienced more side affects the last round of chemo. I can hardly wait (NOT) to see what's in store this time!

Until next time, may the Lord keep and watch over you! :)

Apparently, I'm not much of a blogger. I'll try and do better in the future.

I've felt pretty good this past week. Food taste better and water taste somewhat normal. I had a bad day yesterday, My hair fell out. I am now an official cancer patient! I thought I was mentally prepared to lose my hair, but I wasn't. It was very traumatic and I cried most of the day. Today, I'm just glad it's over.

We are a little over a month into fighting this horrible disease. We know Heavenly Father is watching over us, we've seen his hand in our lives several times. Joe and I are overwhelmed by the love and support of our family, neighbors, friends and ward members. I'm so grateful to those who have brought meals in. Joe's idea of making dinner is driving to Taco Time, Wendy's or Subway, which is ok, about once a year! I haven't had much strength to do much of anything and being nauseated all the time doesn't put me into a mood to cook. To all those who have brought meals, we send a heartfelt thank you, you've done more than just feed my hungry family.

Tomorrow is chemo day. I didn't think I would be as nervous having gone through this once already. I know what to expect, but I'm just as nervous as I was the first time. I dread being nauseated and feeling weak. Such is chemotherapy. :)

I will try write more frequent.

One down, five to go! I can’t believe it’s been almost two weeks since my first round of chemotherapy. The day went much like I expected, it was a long day, and we were there almost eight hours. I was surprised at how many different medications I received along with the chemo.

Joe had a terrible cold and wasn’t sure he’d be able to go into the chemo room with me. My friend, Joyce, came with me so I wouldn’t be alone. Joe was allowed to come in but only if he wore a mask.

I was fine for about two days after my treatment and then flu like symptoms hit. I slept for two days and two nights straight. I was nauseated constantly, throwing up and I quickly became dehydrated. I had to go to the hospital twice to receive fluids for dehydration. I still haven’t regained my strength and I’m constantly nauseated.

We are overwhelmed by the support of our friends, neighbors and ward members. We’ve received meals, treats and visits, all of which keep us going. We are so truly blessed to know these people and have them a part of our lives. I know Heavenly Father is watching over me as he surrounds me daily with his angels. I don’t know how I can ever thank everyone for all they’ve done for me and my family.

On January 16, 2012, I was diagnosed with Primary Peritoneal Carcinoma (PPC). My husband and I have been discouraged at the lack of information or statistics on this type of cancer.  We have learned that it is a rare form of cancer, closely related to ovarian cancer. The only clear cut difference between the two is that ovarian cancer grows inside of the ovaries, PPC grows on the outside. It looks like ovarian cancer and the treatments are the same.

Seventeen years ago, I had a complete hysterectomy. I was told at that time I was NOT at risk for any type of ovarian cancer. Makes sense to me. Not so! Ladies, if you think because you’ve had a hysterectomy you're not at risk for cancer, think again!

Our reason for blogging my journey is to update family and friends of my condition. My family and I have been overwhelmed with heartfelt letters, emails, messages and visits. We feel blogging may be a great way to keep everyone posted. Another reason for blogging is to bring awareness to others about PPC. Now ladies, don’t panic, chances of you developing this type of cancer is low, however, please see your doctor regularly and talk to him about PPC, ovarian, breast, and other types of cancer.

Often, I refer to “our" or "we” rather than “I" or "me" because I believe when someone is diagnosed with cancer, everyone is diagnosed with cancer.  Our battle begins tomorrow (Feb 16, 2012). I will receive my first dose of chemotherapy. I will receive chemotherapy every three weeks for six times. So if we stay on schedule my last dose will be on May 31^st.

As for all who read this blog, please excuse my spelling and grammar. In high school, I was far more interested in my boyfriend (Joe, now my husband) than any English class. We would love for everyone to follow publicly and comment as often as you like. For me, hearing from others has been the best medicine I could receive! Hearing positive thoughts and prayers that have been offered in our behalf have strengthened us in ways words cannot describe. We are so blessed to be surrounded by so many caring, loving angels. Thank you for all your support!

 I love this quote by Mother Teresa:

“There is nothing more calming in difficult moments that knowing there’s some one fighting with you.”

I agree 100%!!!

“No One FIGHTS Alone”